After almost a year after I quit or got fired (the verdict isn't really in) from my first job. Here are some of the lessons I learned from the experience.
1. Find work life balance.
I had graduated college in May and started in August. I had no internship experience and pretty much had only been a waitress up until that point. I felt so grateful to have the opportunity and wanted to prove my value to the organization and my new boss I often worked during after hours, went to work early, skipped lunch and didn't say no to extra volunteer duties. This, on top of going to graduate school quickly consumed my life and it hurt my relationship with my now husband. Work life balance is extremely important and something I still struggle with but definitely not to that extreme after 5:00pm I shut off email notifications and don't check until the next day. While I still work for a nonprofit (literally doing the same job) I manage my workload better and it makes me a better employee, co-worker and wife.
2. Management means everything.
I had a boss that was very controlling and a micromanager, since I had no experience I needed the oversight (or so I thought) I dismissed it. For a while, I made excuses for her, "its because shes passionate" and "she has high expectations" but as the only employee under her it stunted my growth as a young professional. Her controlling behavior didn't allow me to learn important skills such as making press releases, designing flyers, or sending out coalition emails because she was so concerned I wouldn't do it right. Even when I was finally allowed to contribute something I was told things like, "I would have done it this way" or "last time I did it results were better." Her management style often clashed with how I worked and often resulted in arguments and power by fear, where I constantly thought I couldn't do anything right. It really diminished my confidence. I can name countless other times I felt without value because of her management including when she would book vacations during events and leave me on my own to manage them. In my new job my supervisor manages in a more relaxed manner, she trusts that I will get from A to Z without worrying about how I get there. It allows for a lot more creativity and has prevented a lot of burnout I felt before.
3. Work is what you make of it; do what you love.
I can't knock the amazing opportunities and experiences that my first job gave me. Some of them are actually the fondest memories of my career including running my first youth group, organizing my first walk/run, speaking about a topic I am passionate about at assemblies, taking youth to protest in Virginia and organizing the Annual Youth Summit all for something I've been involved with since High School. Even in the worst moments of any job there are the reasons that kept you there for so long for me it was the kids I worked with. I thank each and everyone of them for all of the things they taught me, jokes that were told and memories that were made. When I first lost this job I was nostalgic for it all but it made me realize I loved working with youth and empowering them to make change in our community and I didn't have to stop, I could find that somewhere else and continue to make these amazing memories. Don't ever let your passion die whether you do it for a profession or as a hobby.
4. Mind your P's and T's
My former boss wasn't just abrasive to me, she was that way with everyone. She had a entitled and determined attitude and it often rubbed people the wrong way even when we were trying to partner with different organizations. As her assistant for the first 9 months of my career, I was often cleaning up disasters she created and taught me the value behind saying "please" and "thank you." You would be really surprised how far those two phrases can get you. People want to be treated with respect.
5. Don't quit until you have something lined up.
From the moment I woke up that day I knew my limit had been stretched and something needed to change. My boss told me to come in that day at 1pm since I had worked the entire weekend but hadn't stopped calling me since 7am that morning. I assumed she was hounding me for something urgent so I got dressed and was super irritated the entire way driving to work and arrived before 11am. No less than 5 minutes of being there the harassment hadn't let up and I asked if we could talk. I uttered the words, "If something doesn't change, I don't think I can do this anymore" after one year and four months of being bullied by my boss I finally spoke up. I felt proud of myself but that feeling didn't last for more than about 20 seconds when my boss said, "if that is the way you feel then take your things and go." So, I gave my office keys in (I was too in shock for anything else and we had been in altercations before and I went back to work the next day so I wasn't concerned about my mini fridge or anything else) and walked out. HR called me to have a conversation and the next day I was unemployed with 3 weeks to figure out my next move. While I definitely don't regret quitting or getting fired (you can decide), I wish I had waited to find my next paycheck first. I hadn't even made my first mortgage payment on my house, and I was unemployed. I definitely let my emotions get the worst of me.
6. Don't bring emotional baggage from your first job to your second job.
I finally found a job (after I cried on the couch for a month and going on interviews without any success). I was eager to start but also extremely scared, what if my new boss was exactly like my old one? What if I was the difficult one to work with? For awhile, I let myself get into my own head, I was still without confidence in my ability shattered by my old boss. Don't be afraid to ask questions or assume your new boss is anything like your old boss.
What are some of the lessons you learned from your first job?
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